Home Is Where I Left My Heart
by Phoebe Harkness-Jones
Summary: Jack is back and hasnt forgotten, but why does everything feel wrong, even if Ianto has gone... Post CofE Sorry! rubbish at summaries ENJOY
1. Prologue

This is my first story so advice will be gladly met! i.e. don't be too mean!!!

* * *

Prologue.

Death... it was so underrated. Jack had led me to believe that it was a peaceful thing... not something to look forward to as such but to not be afraid of this place you came to. Darkness was the main thing I saw, not the light that so many of these lost souls had talked about... for me though? Just the darkness. There was something different about me, I'd known that since I'd died.

Oh jack... I catch glimpses of him sometimes and i just stare, but he can't see me. I've tried so many times to talk to him, it takes all of my energy to do so. I don't know if he can feel me with him, but I am, everyday of my existence.

God, where was the risen mitten when you needed it... if only I could see him, in the flesh for one last time.

A searing pain ripped through my chest and I knew he would be here soon. Everytime he had...an accident... I would feel it. Another thing why I was different, I could feel pain, no other soul here could.

"Ianto! Where are you?!?! I need you!" Jack screamed for me, and I knew I didn't have much time to look into his eyes...

his gorgeous eyes...

"You don't need me anymore, you have Gwen and Rhys, Lois will probably join, you will have her too... you need to get out and make new friends, meet new loves. I was always just a blip in time, no matter what you say, I know this is true. Please, if you loved me even a little, you will do this to help my passing over. Its because of you I can't leave." I pleaded until I saw him slowly fade out and it was just me standing scared and alone...

And by heart broke in two again...


	2. Back Home

**Hi guys! Sorry the first thing was a bit short I just needed to find my feet as this is my first fanfic eek!! Hope you like it though! x **

I'd spoken to him. I'd never spoken to him in all my deaths before. Why now? Why did this torment have to start now.

I sighed. Why did life had to be so hard. I had been away just 3 months from planet earth after travelling around the earth looking for some way of forgetting... but none of them had worked.

Flying into outer space hadn't worked either. My brief encounter with the Doctor. who showed me Alonso, should have worked. But it wasn't enough. He wasn't my Cariad, my coffee-boy. His name was still painful to speak aloud; or even in my thoughts. But I have been reminded of him everyday since I went back to work...

**It was late. 'hurry up Gwen' I thought as I was standing, alone, on this hill I had departed on so very long ago. I shuddered. "Jack!!!!" she ran up to me and pulled me into a big bear hug "You've been away so long Jack, where were you?" I sighed. "I don't want to go into it now Gwen, I'd really just like a drink". "Don't be daft you silly bugger, come back with me, Rhys will make you a cuppa and we'll all sit down and have a good long chat. I'll introduce you to my son if you want." I smiled but it didn't come out right. It was all wrong – and Gwen noticed. "What happened Jack? You look so old. How long were you gone?" "1000 years Gwen" Don't think I haven't been counting. I heard hear sigh. " Come on, let's get out of the cold" "I haven't forgotten what happened. Far from it... I thought it wouldn't work. I knew it wouldn't work. I'd tried so hard so many times. After Estelle I'd promised my self never to fall in love with another person. Why should it be different for Suzie, Tosh and Owen or Steven or Ian..... Ian...... Ianto......" I whispered his name last and broke down. I hadn't cried in so long and here I was weeping like a baby. "So what's the little rascal called then?" She sighed. "I'll tell you when we get back. Come on, lets get a nice hot drink down you" I hope it's not coffee...**

She called him Ianto. Ianto Owen Williams. It was sweet really, naming him after our team-mates, but did she not know how hard it would be for me. Hearing his name every time we talked about him. Every time I held him and stared into his bright blue baby eyes. No, but it was her baby and I had no say in her life anymore. She wasn't as tied down to Torchwood as she used to be, which pleased me, and Rhys.

My head was banging. Ugh, I hated inter-galactic hangovers. They were a bitch. I lay down on my bed, hugging the now vacant pillow on the other side of my bed. Never mind hangovers, life was a bitch...

**Yay!!! it took me so long to actually write this down so I'm happy now that I have. Phew...**

**Not very long but who cares (well maybe you), I don't!! Goodbye for now... until next time!**


	3. Hope and Revelations

**I'm sorry that I've taken so long to write this... I'm so sorry really but you know how things go... I'M REWATCHING THE WHOLE OF TORCHWOOD S2! :O (there wasn't much Ianto/Jack in S1) :( ... so I haven't had a chance to do homework let alone write this down. Such fun!**

**I forgot to do this the last chapters so – I DO NOT OWN TORCHWOOD if I did Ianto would walk around with no clothes on and I'd kill off Gwen (in the nicest way possible of course...)**

***Bold below is Ianto's POV... just so you don't get confuzzled or anything :)**

You know the phrase 'you don't know what you've got till it's gone'? **_I_** sure as hell did. Every fucking day.

I wandered through the park, even though it was 3 in the morning. I hadn't slept for long periods of time for a few years. I had the feeling that I was being followed so I had my weebly on stand by. The last thing I heard before I was lost in the darkness was Ianto's voice...

_Death is such a constant thing in my life since those 5 days... on average, I died about 3 times a week. Usually there was darkness, but sometimes I'd catch glimpses of the dead. Lone bodies wandering around like a dog without an owner. I'd see **him**. Everytime I've died. I never knew if he heard me, but I'd told him so many times how much I love him. But you can't hear anything here... just your own thoughts. I scanned my surroundings, frantically looking for him but I couldn't see him anywhere! Where was he? A small thought niggled at the back of my mind – maybe he was gone... NO! I had seen him for the last 1000 years of my life! He can't just disappear! I could feel myself coming back to life "I'll come back for you..." I always do my Cariad..._

"Harggh!" I gasped loudly as I came back to life. Gwen was making a cup of coffee which I presumed was for me

"You're alarm on your wristwatch told me something was wrong with you... What were you doing out so late on your own, I mean I know you can cope, well maybe, but... oh Jack you had me worried..."

"I...I know, I am sorry... I won't do it again... sorry..."

"Jack... I'd like you to meet the new team" She offered her hand to me and I took it and let her lead me me to the centre of the hub. "Jack, this is Lois... you know Lois though from, well, you know..." she trailed off "also, this is Tom, fresh out of medical school, Samantha , our tech genius, and Gethin, who is just great at everything really . There's not many of us but I'm looking for new people all the time so it will soon grow." she smiled looking pleased with herself.

"Gwen, you've done an amazing job while I was gone... you should be proud of yourself. And once again, I am sorry -"

"Oh stop apologising, really. Actually guys, it's pretty quiet tonight, so you can all go home."

There were appreciative noises and goodbyes ans the new Torchwood 3 left the hub. The rift alarm went off and I saw Gwen go off to check it.

"Jack, I'm gonna go with Tom to sort this out and then I'll come straight back – I promise ok?"

"It's ok Gwen, you go home to Rhys and Ianto..." I whispered that last name.

"Ok... if your sure..." I smiled.

"Of course I am... go!" And then it was just me.. alone with my thoughts. I should have stayed in New New York... it was much more me...

* * *

**I was fading out...Why! I didn't want to go! What if I never saw Jack again! It shouldn't happen like this. Whenever someone properly 'moved on', they ran towards the light – but I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run _to_! Maybe this was hell. Or maybe... NO! I could never go back. I'd only seen it a couple of times before. Crash victims here one second, then gone the next... bought back to life... but that could never be possible for me – I'd been dead for three months... 1000 years for Jack! It couldn't happen... could it?**

**I'm scared...**

**I don't know what to do...**

**I'm coming back for you Jack,**

**I'll find you,**

**I promise,**

**I don't know where I'll be when I wake up... _if _I wake up...**

**Oh god**

**Please help m e pl ea se**

**" … "**

* * *

I woke up suddenly and instantly I knew something was wrong... something was missing – something I never even knew I had... but yet I felt strangely whole. I peeked out of my little hole and walked over to my desk wearing nothing but my boxers and my greatcoat.

"Nice look Jack" I froze. I'd know that gorgeous welsh accent anywhere. But I didn't believe it.

"Ianto!" I heard him chuckle. It really was him!

"I need help Jack. Everything has become so complicated! I don't know what to do!" I spun round but saw nothing. "You can only see me in the mirror" I turned around again to see his face... and I couldn't help but gasp.

"Your really here!"

"Yes... I am... but not. Something has happened to me. What you can see... it's just my soul – I don't have a body. Only my body will do though... not that I'll try... it would just feel wrong" I nodded.

A single tear rolled down my face "What can I do?"

I felt ghostly arms wrap round my waist.

"You need to find a way to resurrect my body, but please, I can't be like Owen..." he trailed off.

"Of course, I wouldn't do that to you" We both stood there, happy to be with each other for what felt like eternity.

"I need to go know Jack. It took all of my power to be here, to see you"

"Please, don't leave me! I have so much to say to you, I need to feel you with me again... properly"

"You will do... soon, I promise..." I closed my eyes, but when I opened them, he was gone. I sighed.

"Oh, and Jack?" I heard his voice, like a whisper in the night, and replied,

"Yeah?"

"I love you..." I smiled and said,

"I love you too" but he was already gone.

* * *

"Gwen, I know it's late, but I need you... Know!" I sounded like a child...

"Calm down! I'm on my way now!"

"Quick it's important!" I breathed out a sigh, and it felt like a huge weight was lifted of my weight.

Tonight could be the night Ianto came back... but I wouldn't keep up hope. Any hope I still had in me died the week I killed Steven, and effectively, Ianto.


	4. Awakened

**I'm Back! Sooner than I have been. I'm trying to update every saturday now so it should be finished quicker than i'd previously thought. Hope you like it!**

**p.s I dont own torchwood sadly... otherwise there would be a possibility of a threesome between janto and john (im liking him more and more for some reason) anyways... on with the story! XD**

**p.s.s bold at the bottom is Ianto**

"Jack? Whats wrong? Where are you?"

"I'm in the morgue!" I could hear the worry in her voice and now I could see her she looked worn out.

"Jack... What's going on?"

"He's not dead Gwen. Don't look at me like that. We can bring him back – I know it. We just have to figure it out."

"Jack, Ianto died. He DIED" I winced visibly when she said that but she carried on anyway. "I know it's hard on you but you need to move on and accept that he's not coming back. That should be evident enough by the body lying in the morgue. Even if we had the glove – which we don't – I couldn't put him through what Owen and Suzie went through. Do you understand Jack?"

"Yes... but when I was – travelling – I found some sort of device -"

"found?" she questioned.

"OK, borrowed without consent but anyway... It can bring people back to life... I think..."

"You think? Jack, please, sit down for a minute and just take in what your saying. Please, just think about it..."

"I have nothing to think ABOUT Gwen! I saw him, in my office. He talked to me. He's just a lost soul Gwen, nothing to exist for. He's so alone... He needs our help!"

"I don't know Jack..."

"Do you trust me?" she twiddled her thumbs as I asked her the most important question of the night "Gwen - "

"yes, of course I do but -"

"where's his body – and by the way, why do you still have it?"

"I couldn't let him be cremated... he wouldn't have wanted that... And it's in box 001" I turned to walk away but Gwen interrupted me "Jack, are you sure you know what your doing?" I answered straight away.

"Yes, positive". This time when I turned, I didnt stop when Gwen shouted my name.

* * *

I wheeled him up carefully to where Gwen was standing with a frown on her face.

"You know, it takes more muscles to frown than to smile."

"It doesn't feel like it..."

I chuckled at her but she wasn't impressed. I t WAS quite early I suppose. HE wouldn't have complained... I wonder if he will be tired when he wakes up. I should have sorted my bunk out. Man, he's going to be angry...

I shook my head, trying to clear my head. I was getting away with myself.

"Should we try and get started then?" I could see the apprehension on her face, but I ignored it like I usually do.

"Yep." Now I was starting to get nervous. "OK. I want to try this fist, but I don't really know what it will do."

I lay it on his chest and pressed the on button. The light turned slowly from red... to amber... and then to a orangey-green colour. His chest rose ever so slightly several times.

But it was too quick... too forced. And then, he made a small groan, and the light turned to a dark red colour. I ripped it off his chest, throwing it across the room, making Gwen jump.

"DAMMIT! Gwen, get me that crash trolley now! We are gonna do this the old fashioned way!" I pressed my mouth to his stone lips, urging my energy to flow into him.

10 minutes turned to 20, 30 to 40, I was there for well over an hour until Gwen put her hand on my shoulder and spoke to me.

"Jack, you've been doing this for an hour and a half now. You need to stop."

"It will work. It WILL!"

"Jack! Listen to yourself! He's gone! There's nothing we can do! Please, get some rest and we'll talk in the morning OK? Leave Ianto here, I'll sort him out in the morning."

"Fine"

"Goodnight Jack. Sleep well" and with that, she was gone. I was left standing next to my dead lover. And I wept, not caring that my tears were falling on his face. I wiped them off with kisses, before passionately kissing him on the lips, just like Gwen and Tosh had done when I had died.

I walked away, tears still pouring form my eyes.

* * *

"Morning Jack. I told you that I'd sort Ianto out. You didn't have to do anything."

"What are you talking about Gwen. I haven't done anything!"

"Well he can't have just got up and walked away!" she scoffed when she said this, but it could be a possibility. I ran to the computers and frantically started typing.

"Oh my..." I heard Gwen squeak behind me as a familiar figure opened his bright blue eyes.

"In the name of all thats holy..." I said, mainly to myself. He walked to his locker and got his suit out, and smiled. "You kept his locker Thank you."

"It's fine. I didn't ever think he'd need it again though."

"Neither did I" I scanned through the CCTV, looking for him. "Where are you Ianto?"

He was so close, yet so far...

**I opened my eyes. I was alive.**

_**OK, how was that? Review please!**_


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